WIP "I Love The Night LIfe"

I have the start of a short story - another torrid teaser like Darke Secrets (coming soon from Whiskey Creek press) - which I thought I'd share.

My heroine (who is still developing in my mind) is a strong character with a softer, romantic side, but this first rough draft (very rough)opening makes her, I think, too violent, too self centered to be sympathetic for readers, so I have to work on that, I have to figure out why we should care about her. That will come but this first few paragraphs came to me in a rush while I had writer's block on another WIP (Internal Reflections).

I'd be grateful for any comments




I Love the Nightlife

by

Mikala Ash

(c)2006 Mikala Ash


I’ll start off by saying I am a complete fabrication.
I came to this country illegally; forged identity, forged passport, forged immigration papers. Everything was false and believe me, I value every piece of paper very highly. I should because I fucked a lot of government officials to get them. They are literally the best forgeries that sex can buy.
I must also admit that every single person I fucked for their ‘official’ services in gaining these papers is now dead.
A necessary and savage step which held its own dangers, but I am an expert in savageness. I simply could leave no trace of my passage from the old existence to the new and so their final service to me was to give up their lives, which, I hasten to add, they did so happily, adoringly even, and that perhaps is savageness at its height.
I feel no guilt. My life depended upon complete security and they were hardly innocents, being themselves the willing instruments of a treacherous and brutal regime. Their end was much more pleasurable than they deserved.
That is the past.
This is the land of opportunity and freedom, the land of my future and I respect it. I have not sullied my new home. Every thing I have done in this new land since I arrived has been legal and no one from the old country can expose me and my secret. I am safe at last.
Or so I thought.